Hey Ladies!
I know I said I would continue with the blog from yesterday. However, I would like to talk about something slightly different but still related. I have a Master of Science in Adult Education. In this program we were provided with a lot of tools to promote personal growth and how to use those tools in the workplace. I would like to talk about how some of the same strategies used for work can also be used in our personal lives.
In my program, one of my favorite authors became Peter Senge. Senge (2006) explains how we all need a shared vision in order to enjoy success at work. Along with that, he mentions that many employees fall into the category of working with a compliance mentality opposed to a commitment mentality. The person who has a compliance mentality will follow the rules provided by the leader. However, he/she follows the rules simply because there is a fear that the position will be terminated if the rules are not adhered to. On the other hand, the person who possesses the commitment mentality will get on board and stay on board because there is a true desire within to experience success. The compliance mentality is forced and the commitment mentality is not.
A person who works within the compliance mentality is prone to burn out quickly due to the fact that they never valued the vision. At the same time, the worker who is committed will thrive at work. This worker will be full of energy and will even bring additional ideas to the table in an effort to further promote the success of the vision.
When I first read about this, I couldn't help relating it to my own personal life. Ladies, I have been married four times. Each marriage was filled with extreme miscommunication...or so I thought. I am sure we could have communicated better but I also realized there was no shared vision in the home. Yes, everyone knew their rights and some rights are honored and others are not. But more importantly, we did not share the same vision for the relationship.
So with this in mind, I had to reflect on my baggage. How can marriages work if couples are just doing what they think they have to do (compliance) to get through. There has to be a happy medium where both people have the same main goal(s). Otherwise, the relationship will not receive the proper care to be successful.
Looking back on my relationships, I now understand that my previous partners and I were not on the same page. Our goals were not similar at all. Yes, I made my desires clear and my partners did as well. However, we never agreed to make each other's desires our personal desires too,
So now, when I think about what it will take to have a productive marriage, I know that I have to be aware of my own vision. In addition, I have to be open to my spouse's vision as well. Hopefully, our visions can merge into one and we will be successful.
What does it take to establish our own personal vision? How does a shared vision develop? That topic will be discussed in an immediate future blog.
Ladies, if any of this sounds familiar to you, let us hear your voice!
Until next time...
Live, laugh, love
Lamya Amatullah
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